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Friday, May 28, 2010

May 28th 2010 Is This What Pride Feels Like?

Well imagine that!! I am proud of myself.LOL Weighed in today for Danny J and am at 251.9lbs. Disappointed because I wanted the 240's. But I am very proud of myself. I bust my ass, and it is paying off. I have gotten so many supporters and it amazes me. Me, a nobody, has all these supporters pushing and encouraging me. People always say that when they get told they are an inspiration and things that it pushed them to work harder. I always said to myself "they are jsut saying that to be nice". Well I was wrong. Yesterday alone three people told me I inspire them, and I have heard it before, and it really does make you work harder. Makes you feel you ahve to live up to that. Because to be told that is such an honor and you need to make sure you are worthy of it. Now don't missunderstand me, I do not feel I am inspiring or anything special, but to be told that, really does make you work harder.

SO here is my promise to you all. I will not stop. I will not give up. I will be on stage. I will do this. Wasn't sure I could, but when you literally have hundreds of people telling you you can, you start to belive it. I thank each and every person who has supported me and helped me.

Today is my off day, but yesterday did shoulders. JT, basically killed me, but I loved it. I was in so much pain afterwards, and it was the best feeling ever. Sometimes people who don't udnerstand say to me "if you are hurting you should slow down" or "if it hurts, you should try something different". THey do not undestand that that pain is such a good thing. Means you killed it. If I leave the gym and am not sore, I am pissed off.

I am going to leave you with this. Recently I had the HONOR of training with Erika Shingary. Erika is an amazing woman who I truly admire and look up to. SHe writes a column for my Promoting Women blog. Well this week she wrote mostly about me and our day together. It literally made me cry. Thank you Erika. Here is the clolumn she wrote.

A couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to visit another gym with jason. I know that Jason touched on this subject in his blog, but I wanted to take the time to write about it as well. While we were talking the track duscussing out workouts, I noticed a man on the floor doing sits ups. I pointed him out to jason because this man is usually at my gym and constantly stares at me while I'm training. Well, it was hard for Jason to miss because he was doing the exact same thing as me this time. Now, I'm not jsut talking about someone glancing at you or maybe even looking a second too long. I'm talking about someone who completely stops what they are doing and stares so intensely that it feels like they are examining the insides of your soul!!

I agree with Jason and I understand that if you see an attractive person, you may give them a second look. But do you really ahve to stare in a way that makes them uncomfortable? Yes, we are proud of our bodies. That's why we are at the gym. BUt, this is a time that we are trying to get our training done. So please be considerate!!

Moving on, I want to tell you how it came about that I emt Jason. Sometime back I offered to workout with him. At that time he told me that he wanted to wait a little bit until he was in better shape. Then about 3 weeks later, he asked if I still wanted to. Of course I did! So through many messages back and forth we set up a day. jason kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to do it and he would understand if I would be embarrassed to be seen with an overweight guy. That amde me want to do it more. Why would I ever be embarrassed of someone who is working so hard and has such amazing goals set for themselves?

Jason is such a great person! He is probably one of the kindest people I have ever met. He is always talking about all the people that are an inspiration to him. Well, I want him and all of you to know what an inspiration he is to me! I think it is so awesome that despite a lot of negative commetns and even losing some friends because of his new goals, he keeps working hard and never gives up.

What a loss it would ahve been for me if I wouldn't have gone that day. Jason kept telling me what an honor it was for him to ahve me there. Well jason, what an honor it was for me!!!!


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

May25th 2010 Lost 20 pounds in 30 Days

Yeah, you read the title right. 20lbs lost in one month. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not resting on that. Still have a long way to go. Still around 250lbs. But remember where I started from? 292lbs. But Sunday when I weighed in and some my weight I was ecstatic. Monday, I talked with Danny J and she said "you are doing awesome", then the same day JT said he was "amazed at how much stronger you are getting". Doesn't get better than that. In the same day, the two people I am trusting to get me to the stage one day both paid me huge compliments. At the end I will explain more how Danny got me down so fast.

How has the training been going? Really good actually. I am lifting heavier than ever, obviously a good thing. I think the diet plays a huge role in that. Eating so much cleaner and having more energy. Also, I used to get embarrassed when I was lifting lighter than some people. I am not embarrassed anymore, because while I might be lifting less, my form is better, and my less is helping me more than they are helping themselves. I know my limitations, I accept them, and I know I can and will improve them.

Part of my problem, is I can be very impatient. I want it all and I want it now. As you see in the picture above, I am getting veins finally in my arms..... well I want more. I want them in other places. I know it is something that will come when the time is right, but I just want it now.

I am going to address my last post, and then am done talking about it. Understand, it never will make em think I can't do it because I can do it. FACT!!!!! Just bothersome that someone would take the time to do that. Now, if you want to hate, then hate, I will no longer even waste my breath talking about it.

Now, back to the 20lbs in thirty days. How did it happen. Well, first I know that the more weight you have to lose the easier it comes off. I don't expect months like this to be common. However I will continue to have success. I am learning and have learned just how important the diet is. So much more important then the gym. I say it like this. You might have the fastest car in the world, but how fast can it go with no gas. It happened because Danny J takes the time to check in with me and see where my weight is, and quickly makes any adjustments needed. She leads, I follow. It will stay that way till I compete. Yeah, I have cravings, I want to cheat, but I know what my goals are, and they will NEVER be accomplished by cheating. You might not have my goals, but if you are on a diet, and thinking about cheating, as bad as that craving is, understand, after you eat that pizza or hot dog, you will feel bad about yourself, and that feeling is worse than any craving. I am no expert. I know very little. So I got someone to help. That's what you need to do. Don't starve yourself, I will tell you that. Eat, eat a lot, but eat clean. Danny J has put together a diet that suits ME. There are all these so called great diets out there for you, but just because it works for one person, doesn't mean it will work for you. Our bodies are different. She sees if something isn't working for me, and changes it. Don't get some person who is jsut looking to pay their rent. Get someone who wants you to achieve your goals. Danny wants me to achieve her goals. YOu can go to www.dannyjfitness.com to find more about her, or try someone else. There are other great people out there. Danny works for me, and I would trust her with my life. People, I am going to go from 292lbs to competing in bodybuilding. If my broken down body can, then you can.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

May 22nd 2010. My Email of "Encouragement"

Thought I would use this opprtunity to share a very "Encouraging" email I recieved just today.

I have to do this by email because you do in fact know me, and actualyl well enough, that I know that one last thing you are trying to learn that no one will teach you. You know what I am talking about. I know if I share my name with you, you will unleash the hounds and I will be attacked for my thoughts. However I do have thoughts that you need to hear.
I commend you wanting to get in shape. However you have lofty dreams of competing in bodybuilding. All signs point to it not happening. First off, if you could do it, you would never have gotten so fat to begin with would you have? It shows your lack of will power and desire. This is a sport that takes will power and desire, clearly you lack that. That is not meant to be insulting, just stating fact. What we do is not a hobby nor is it a game. It is a lifestyle, a lifestyle you are not equipped to handle. You do this I believe to have something in common with your friends, but I believe they all see through it and humor you, for their own benefit. To compete in this sport you haev to give it everything you ahve, and most people can not do it, so if they cant do it, how can you? Also there is this Danny girl. Seriously? What can a female who does not compete in bodybuilding do to get a male on a bodybuilding stage. I am a woman, and would never allow a woman who has not done my sport to help me prepare for it. That shows me that serious competitors do not have faith in you or you would not go to someone else.
I am aware this may seem hurtful, and really there is nothing I can do about that. I just want you to know, based on your progress photos (in which you are afraid to show anything but arms), your attitude, your past history, and your lack of respect you get from real competitors, there is no logical reason to believe you can succeed. I suggest sticking to what you are good at. Interviewing women and talking about teh sport. That is what you can do, and leave the real work to us.

OK. Very nice isnt it. First, I ahve a male trainer named JT Wood. I also ahve Danny J. I have no shame in having a female who does not do bodybuilding helping me. There is no human being I trust more than her. I call her my Hero for a reason. I do not care if people think I cant do it. Sure it hurt before, but now I laugh it off. What bothers me, is that there are people who are willing to take the time to stop me and say hurtful things. I do not know what people think of me. I think most take me serious, and most do encourage me. I get plenty of things sent to me like this. But this one bothers me, because it is someone who does know the one last thing I want to learn and no one will teach me. Because very few people know what that is.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

May 19th 2010 Allison Moyer, Victoria Larvie, Laura Kline, LeslieRae Newton and Jill Crean (Role Models)

Since today was my off day, really I have nothing to talk about as far as the gym. So instead I thought I would use this time to mention some people who are important parts of my journey. Yes there are names I mention a lot, Danny J, JT, Belinda, Ann, Sarah, etc. But I wanted to mention some others who I don't give enough credit to.

1. Allison Moyer.
Allison Moyer is among the most beautiful women I have ever seen, so like a lot of guys, that's how I initially became a fan. We were friends on Facebook, but that was early in me being on Facebook and while I had friends on there in the fitness industry, I never commented on their posts or anything. Didn't know them, and quite honestly, was scared I would be laughed at. These beautiful women with amazing physiques, and me just learning about how to train before I thought my dream could come true. Allison made a post and I commented. Somehow it turned into us sharing messages that night with her trying to cheer me up because I was having some depression issues. See, I consider myself very unattractive and destined to be single forever. Allison, takes her time to cheer up this nobody she doesn't even know. Became an even bigger fan. Finally got to meet her at the Arnold's, and became an even BIGGER fan. Allison at a time I was low cheered me up, and made me feel good about myself. She has expressed belief in me, and I am forever grateful. I still see her as a beautiful woman, but I am not the fan who is a fan because of that. I don't look at her as "the hot fitness girl", I look at her as someone I respect and admire, and WHEN she earns her Pro card, I will be the first one standing and applauding.

2. Victoria Larvie
Victoria is an IFBB Fitness Pro. Until recently, the youngest one ever. That on its own demands respect. Victoria is the first person I ever asked for advice, and she gave it to me. I thanked her and she said she "likes helping people with fitness tips". She not only answered, but answered more. TO some it may be strange for a 33 year old male to ask a girl not yet 20 for advice on working out, but I believe to learn something right, learn from the best, and Victoria is among the best. Again, I don't care about the age or male and female thing. Victoria is one of my role models. Victoria is an amazing woman and I owe her so much. Because if she didn't answer my questions, I may have been too scared to ever ask again and my progress would be minimal. So thank you Victoria. You have played a bigger part in my journey than you even know.

3. Laura Kline
Laura is someone I truly admire. I call her the advanced me. Sh did what I am trying to do. I read her story about how she was upset due to the shape she was in and some other things in her life. Then I saw how she looked and my jaw dropped. The work she had put in to go from where she was to where she is was incredible. I really admired her and that work and it was the first thing that truly inspired me and really made me want this. I said to myself "If she can do this, then I can do this". Well I was right and I was wrong. I was right that I can do it, but if you have seen how amazing Laura looks now, I can't do that. I can't look that good. That isn't a knock on myself, it is a compliment to her. Laura is prepping for her first show, and Laura, you have family and you have friends, but believe me, no one is cheering for you as much as I am. I have trainers, I have friends, I have people who help and encourage me, and I have people who inspire me. But Laura, you will always be the first person to ever truly inspire me to better myself. Thank you.

4. LeslieRae Newton
Like Victoria, LeslieRae is an IFBB Fitness Pro. Right there it tells you she is good at what she does. LeslieRae is someone I really look up to. She too has helped and encouraged me. She also helps with my blogs fan page. That is the biggest thrill for me. Someone of her calibre helping little ol' me. I always respected LeslieRae the competitor, but now I even more respect LeslieRae the person. Yes she is insanely beautiful. Yes she has an amazing physique, yes to so many other things, but most of all, LeslieRae is an amazing person. I wish I had known her sooner because I truly believe I would have been doing what I am doing sooner. She just being herself is such an inspiration. She suffered a pretty serious injury while competing and is now rehabbing and getting back in shape. Her determination to do that has really inspired me in ways she doesn't know. Many of you know my hip problem. It is a degenerative condition and pretty much my whole life has been pain. When I train legs or do cardio, it hurts bad. But the determination and work ethic she is displaying has motivated me to push through the pain. LeslieRae, I hope we are always in contact.

5. Jill Crean
What can I say about Jill. Two time cancer survivor in itself says "fighter". But Jill has become a friend and another huge source of inspiration. Jill encourages me more than just about anybody. Always quick with a "You can do it" or "I believe in you", and never a negative word. When I am down, I go to Jill, because I know I will instantly feel more positive. At first Jill was just an interview, but somehow we started talking and I call her a friend now. It is probably her friendliness that allowed us to talk more. Jill had competed before and looked great. She recently was on stage again. I don't mind saying I almost had tears coming down when I saw how she looked. I was soooo proud of her. She looked incredible. The best way I can think of to tell Jill what I think of her is, if and when I grow up, I want to be like Jill Crean.

There are so many others too, but these five are of great importance to me, and I don't say it enough.

Monday, May 17, 2010

May 17th 2010 Guys Quit Staring At Women and My Workout With Erika

Going to go in reverse today. Going to disucss today and then discuss yesterday.

Today was back day. I always start my back with Lat Pulldowns. So today I decided to end my back workout with lat pulldowns, and guess what? Nothing. But just figured I would change it up. Used to do back and bi's on same day, but thats when I was going 4 days on and 1 off. Now since bi's are my favortie, I give them their own day. Did 6 exercises all at 4 sets of 12,10,10,8. Then my cardio. Went back tonight for more cardio.
Today was also a talk with Danny J. Not happy with my last weigh in and wanted to talk with her. She amde a few small changes to the diet, and I am positive I will be back to dropping pounds.

Sunday as mentioend was a workout with Erika Shingary. Big honor for me, and can you believe it was my first workout with a partner. I am a big loser.LOL. Honestly it was very short. Just a couple elg exercises and some cardio. It was her off day. Hope she wil do a full workout with me. I hope so. She was very sweet and more beautiful in person.

Which brgns me to this. There was a guy there who apparently he has done this to her at her gym. On the tack, everytime we walked by, he stopped what he was doig and just stared. Almost stared right through her. I almost felt dirty. THis applies to all women who train, but in this case, let's talk about Erika. Yes, she is very beautiful. However women, in this case, Erika are there to train. Yes, it is human nature to look at a beautiful woman. BUt is it human nature to stare so obsessivley each time around the track. ALl you are doing is making the woman uncomfortable. She is at the gym for the same reason as you, so respect her as she respects you. There is an invisable little private space I believe while training. Dont invade that space. Let them be comfortable while training and not ahve to worry about who is checking them out each time they bend or twist.

Just my opinions.

Friday, May 14, 2010

May 14th 2010 Can't Wait For Sunday

How can someone without a job be so busy? Feel like I never have any free time to just relax. Oh, and I really want a job.LOL. Between the blog and the gym twice a day, and now the clothing thing, www.cafepress.com/fitwomen, I feel I have no time.

I am going to skip whats been going on with my training, and talk about two things. The first, actually is about training but training to come, not in the past. Sunday I have the honor of training legs with Erika Shingary. Erika is someone I truly admire and respect and since she lives close, she is going to come to my gym and do legs. I just hope I can hang with her.LOL. I take it as a chance to learn from someone better than me. So wish me luck that I can hang with her.

Now for the clothing thing. OK, lets be honest, these are not going to be super quality shirts. But they are going to be godo quality. I am not going to profit from these. See, let's say Cafe Press charges $15. I mark it up to $17 and that is a $2 profit. All the profits go into my goal of eventually sponsoring some female competitors in this expensive sport. My way of giving back. Yes my trainer here is male. But everyone else who has hlped meis female. I don't want to name everyone for fear of forgetting someone. But so many women who compete have helped, advised, guided, inspired, and encouraged me, and this is my way to try and give back. SO I hope it works.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

May 11th 2010 I Want My One Moment

Well I have haters. Don't know what I ever did to anyone, but I have them. They bother me at times, but now I love them. I want them. I need them. It is just going to make me work that much harder. Let me share my new one. Received an email, and sorry do not remember it word for word. But it went on to tell me how I should be embarrassed by my progress photos. That in the time I ahve been training my arms should be bigger. That she (I assume she because of soem words she used) and others do it because they love it, and I only do it to fit in because all teh women I try and promote are more muscular than me and I should be ashamed of that. I tried to reply to teh email but it said it could not be sent. Hmmm. Well fact is I do this for no one but me. I am doing this to prove if I can do it, than anyone can do it. I am doing it to prove the overweight guy whose hip is so bad walking often hurts, can get on stage. All I want is my one moment. That one moment to get on stage and say "I did this". I am busting my ass for that moment, and I think I deserve that moment. That moment were I can be proud of myself, feel that for once I accomplished something.

So where does that lead me. It leads me to a decision I made. As you know I have hired Danny J Johnson to do my diet, and it is working. I feel I need to be with her. I need to have her support as much as I can. I trust her more than anyone in my life. So here is teh goal. I plan to save every penny for one year, and then Vegas is my new home. I will move to Las Vegas, and ahve her take control of everything. I have all the faith in the world, Danny will get me on stage, and as shameful as this is, to quote Whitney Houston, I will have my "one moment in time, when I'm more than I thought I could be".


Sunday, May 9, 2010

May 9th 2010 Do I Really Belong?

I don't get it. How can I be so proud and confident one day, and so negative the next? I think it is a case of having so many great friends who have competed recently, or are prepping. I am so proud of each one of them and wish them all luck. But then it makes me realize how far away I am. I want to be the one people are wishing luck, or the one they are proud of. That is years away. Don't get me wrong. I am not quitting, and I am enjoying this journey. I just wonder if I belong. So many great friends who whether Pro or Amateur, are great competitors, and I wonder if I belong. I want to. I love the role I have of encouraging so many people, but will I ever be the one who is two weeks out and needs that encouragement?

Today was meant to be an off day, an off day I NEEDED, but with the way I am feeling, I couldn't sit at home, so I went and did some bicep work. Mostly decided to try and just run the rack on dumbells curls, from 55lbs down. Not sure why I did it but I did. Probably over did it. Was doing two sets of ten at each weight, till I got down to the 15lbs and just couldn't lift even once more.

Did a weight in for Danny today, and I believe 257.6lbs. So that's down almost 4lbs since Thursday. I hope she is proud, as that is my biggest goal.

Took some photos. Here are two. One is an arm photo, so you can see I am far away, the other is just to show I got veins coming. YAY.LOL

Thursday, May 6, 2010

May 6th 2010 Big things I hope

Well, I will first say, I need to update this more. If for no other reason, it seems to make me feel better about myself.

First lets start with the me portion. Workouts have been really good. Since Danny J gave me the go ahead to start doing double cardio for now, I seem to have more energy, which in turn seems to be helping the workouts. As with anything in life, there will be some downs at times. But I am bouncing back from the downs a lot quicker. Used to be anything negative would crush me, but it really doesn't crush me anymore. I bounce back.

Tuesday was an off day so.............. let's skip it

Wednesday was bi's and back. Now before I go on, understand, I am sick of people telling me I should not do two a days. Maybe YOU shouldn't but that doesn't mean I shouldn't. Everybody has things that work better for them. Now using this day as an example. I like that I went early and did about 25 total sets for back and my cardio and then went back later for about 20 sets of bi's and cardio. For me I like it because I do a lot of sets sometimes and when in this case I do a lot for back and move on to bi's right away I don't have the strength to lift as heavy for bi's, and since bi's are my favortie thing to train, I like to lift as heavy as I can. So it let's me regroup. I was able to do a full set of 50lbs dumbell curls. A 12 rep set. So was excited about that since I ahve not done that heavy yet..... I am new, be patient. THen I sent a couple pics of my arm after to Sarah Kinney, one of my mentors, and she said she could see some good improvement. Her opinion matters to me, so for her to see and say she see's improvement, meant a lot. I probably dont talk about Sarah enough, or give her enough credit for how I am doing. Sarah after my interview with her was kind enough to offer for free to handle my diet and workouts. THis was before I had a trainer. THings happened, and that isnt going on anymore, but Sarah is still a big source of encouragemnt and inspiration, and always has my back. When I am low, she brings me up. She is one of those people that when I compete, you can bet I am flying her in. She is a big reason I really wish I could have a job in California. I do not ahve a workout partner and dont know that I want one, but I would for sure love to have her as a partner. Sarah if you ever read this, not in a creepy way, in a good friend way, for all you have done for me, I love you to death.

Today was one of those one workout days. I woke up late and then had the Penguins game tonight. It was Shoulders and supposed to be hammies, but those will be added to tomorrow. Shoulders are somethign where I see the most improvement, except for my form just keeps sucking ass on front and side raises. I am working on it and will get there though. It isnt that I cant do them, it is because of my leg length differnce, after a couple my form just gets shot.

So I have my new top ten list.
This is the top ten people I credit with making my Promoting women interview blog a success.

1. Allison Moyer
2. Victoria Larvie
3. Vanessa Prebyl
4. Jason at www.siouxcountry.com
5. C-Ray at Fitgems Nation
6. LeslieRae Newton
7. Tonia Moore
8. Tara Ballard
9. Me..... is that shallow
10. Most of all, every single female that has done an interview, written a contest prep journal or weekly column, and every single person that reads the interviews. Thank you all

Monday, May 3, 2010

May 3rd 2010 Knock Me Down and I Will Get Back Up

Well, today was weigh in. Down to 261lbs. I feel so good about how far I have come, but still know I have a looooong road to reach my goals. But I am assured I will reach them. In fact, I am enjoying the journey. It is a great feeling to know that each week you can lift more than the week before. It is a great feeling to feel muscle that you didn't used to have. I am realistic. I am never going to be at the point where I am some Pro or something. Started way to late for that. But I also know I can be on stage. I have no doubt about that. I am doing 2 hours of cardio a day again. Just for awhile to get the weight down. Danny says it is ok, and anything she says, I do. So did an hour today, including ten minutes of sprints, and will be going in about an hour to train quads with another hour of cardio.

I have some news I am excited about. My goal was to eventually make my www.promotingwomen.blogspot.com blog into a website. But a real website. Not one that costs people money, just to look more professional. I am working on it. Even bigger, I have decided to enter the clothing business. I am going to very soon be making clothing promoting my blog and the women. Not just clothing though, lot's of items. Will it work? I do not know, but I am blessed to have 7 amazing competitors agree to allow me to use their likeness on the clothing to help sell them, and promote them in the process. The goal is to eventually start making enough to sponsor some competitors. Again, will it work? I do not know, but I am going to try and make it. I feel it is not a good idea to name the women yet, until I am totally sure this is happening, but they are all amazing. So wish me luck in this.

For fun I decided to do a top ten list on each post. This one will be my top ten movies ever. It will read like a top ten horror list, but really I love horror, so they are my favorites.

1. Halloween
2. Halloween 4
3. Halloween 2
4. Saw
5. Friday the 13th
6. Sorority House Massacre 2
7. Halloween Remake
8. Saw 2
9. Paranormal Activity
10. Orphan