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Sunday, May 9, 2010

May 9th 2010 Do I Really Belong?

I don't get it. How can I be so proud and confident one day, and so negative the next? I think it is a case of having so many great friends who have competed recently, or are prepping. I am so proud of each one of them and wish them all luck. But then it makes me realize how far away I am. I want to be the one people are wishing luck, or the one they are proud of. That is years away. Don't get me wrong. I am not quitting, and I am enjoying this journey. I just wonder if I belong. So many great friends who whether Pro or Amateur, are great competitors, and I wonder if I belong. I want to. I love the role I have of encouraging so many people, but will I ever be the one who is two weeks out and needs that encouragement?

Today was meant to be an off day, an off day I NEEDED, but with the way I am feeling, I couldn't sit at home, so I went and did some bicep work. Mostly decided to try and just run the rack on dumbells curls, from 55lbs down. Not sure why I did it but I did. Probably over did it. Was doing two sets of ten at each weight, till I got down to the 15lbs and just couldn't lift even once more.

Did a weight in for Danny today, and I believe 257.6lbs. So that's down almost 4lbs since Thursday. I hope she is proud, as that is my biggest goal.

Took some photos. Here are two. One is an arm photo, so you can see I am far away, the other is just to show I got veins coming. YAY.LOL

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