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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

July 28th 2010 No More Fear

Been awhile hasn't it? Sorry. Got to have priorities. So what has been up with me? Well got to go to Master's Nationals in Pittsburgh. Thanks to Sheila and Doug Benditz for the hotel room and the ticket. Decent show. Got to meet some amazing people like Melanie Gall, Melissa Hulett Stevens, Dave Palumbo, Kristin Fonseca, Gina Davis, Michelle Geist, Kate Cooper, Michelle Brent, and many more. Especially excited to have met Sue Scheppele. One of my favorite bodybuilders ever. She invited me to come train with her one day in Pittsburgh. Can't wait to have that honor. I went to the Arnold's but mostly took in the convention, so to many people's surprise, this was my first show. I believe Michelle Brent was really screwed out of her Pro card, but what can you do.

How is training? Amazing. JT often compliments me, and that feels great. One thing I lvoe is I know at first my triceps sucked ass, but they are really starting to come in. Getting some cool veins too.LOL. Sorry I am a vein freak. I even got one on my quad sweep. But training has been great. Kind of changed my routine. It is now six days on and one day off, that day is always Sunday. This is how it works
Day 1: Back, Biceps, Abs, cardio x2
Day 2: Chest, Glutes, Cardio x2
Day 3: Legs, Calves, Cardio x1
Day 4: Shoulders, Triceps, Cardio x2
Day 5: start over with day 1

So let's get back to Master's. Friday, I cheated. Drank some beers and things. I talked with Danny, and believe she is right when she says I sabotage myself. I think it is fear. Fear of failing, so I tend allow myself to fail instead of waiting for it. I don't want to get close and then fail. I texted her and called Sara and was flat out crying. I cried because I know better. But also I believe it is good it bothered me so much. Why? Because it tells me how badly I want it. Then I watched the show Saturday and realized, I can do this. I can compete, I can do well, I can be a bodybuilder..... No...... I AM A BODYBUILDER. I am ready to sacrifice and give it my all. I am not gonna be some elite level bodybuilder, but I can do this and do it well. It has become my passion, my great love. I now feel I belong in the gym, I feel accepted, I feel it is home. I can't be afraid to fail, because if I do this while being afraid, I am simply setting myself up to fail, and I can not allow that. I will be positive. Melanie Gall came up to me at the show and said how much weight she can see I lost since the Arnold's. She is right obviously, as I have. I even showed her my arms veins LOL, but she also seemed to be impressed at the muscle I ahve added in ym arms. Made me feel good, and really helped me refocus.

So about that weight loss. Weighed in for Danny today. It was 225.4lbs. So overall we are down 68lbs and 48lbs in 11 weeks with Danny. I am satisfied with that. Very satisfied!!! Still have a long way to go, but I will get there, I know that.

I laughed the other day. I did a Facebook post that I was going back to my Species Fat Burners. I am not loyal to any one company. I use Species, Gaspari, and Optimum, but the burners I am using now are quite honestly, making the bathroom my second home. So need to go back to Species. Someone posted a comment saying to try whatever the hell it was he suggested and said it is what the Pro's really use and then gave me a number to call. Probably his company. But I responded by informing him how many Pro's I am friends with, as opposed to him likely not knowing any. Apparently he saw me as naive and didn't know who I know.

As you know if you looked, I renamed this blog. It says Danny J taught, Danny J trained, and on My way to being Danny J made. Yes Danny does my det, and can't really train me in person till I am in Vegas. But I ahve JT and Sara to work with. But Danny does help me with trainign stuff, and will always be my main trainer. Not a knock on Sara and JT because they are AWESOME. But Danny J is the world to me. So that covers the training part. The Danny J taught part, is not really about training. It is about the person she teaches me that I want to be. She ahs taught me more than she knows about life and about myself. The Danny J amde part, is just what it says. When the mission is complete and I am on stage, it will be because she amde me ready.

Before I go, I know several doing USA's this coming weekend and wish all of them luck. But special shout out to my friend Vanessa Prebyl. Vanessa writes a weekly column for my Promoting Women blog and has done a couple interviews. Vanessa is a special woman and I am hopeful this weekend she gets the Pro card she really deserves.


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