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Monday, August 9, 2010

August 9th 2010 Learning to Accept It For What It Is

How many times have I said I suck at this? A lot, and I continue to. Just so busy and I neglect it. Oh well!!!!!

So how are things? GREAT!!!! Weight this morning was 217.6lbs. That is 75lbs down and 55lbs in three months with Danny J. I continue to have great workouts. I feel more and more like I belong in the gym, and that really is such an important factor. It is like a new job. When you start out you are not sure what you are doing and almost like you don't want to be there. But as the days go by you find your way, find where you fit in, and grow more and more in your comfort level. The gym is the same. At first you are feeling out of place, but the more you work the more you get accepted the more comfortable you feel. Keep in mind, those who are new, go into that gym, bust your ass, work hard, and as awkward as you may feel, you truly will be accepted. Sure some may not accept you, but really, those people do not matter. You are there for you and no one else. My personal favorite part on me now is my arms, but seems it should be my legs. I suppose being so overweight helped in the aspect of walking around with all that weight helped build muscle on my legs. But lifting heavier and heavier, and still learning, but learning makes it fun.

Want to talk about the "I" word. What is the "I" word? INSPIRATION. I get so many emails and messages from people saying I inspire them. I am uncomfortable with that. This was never about anyone but me. Then it became about proving Danny J is the best as well. I am proving that every day. But always about me. Being called an inspiration makes me feel I have to do this for everyone now. I have to make sure I am worthy of such praise. If I mess up I feel I am letting people down. That person who emails that seeing what I have done has inspired them to get in the gym and lose weight or whatever their goal. I have to worry that if they see me mess up then maybe it makes them mess up. I don't know why people latch on to me. Why do I appeal to people? There are so many better choices than me to be the inspiration of those people. But Danny said something that makes sense. She said it is because I am not afraid to put myself out there. To admit when I mess up, admit I had a bad day. It makes them feel it is ok to have a bad day as well. We all have them. But you see a lot of people only put the good stuff out there. That's not me. I do not and will not hide who I am. If someone doesn't like what I say on the bad days, that is not my problem. If you can accept me at my best, accept me at my worst, or don't accept me at all. So as the title says, I will accept it for what it is. If people want to latch on to me, use me as inspiration to get in shape, I will accept that. It is an honor really. It is something I do not take likely, I take it as a responsibility. I think having someone to look to as inspiration is a good thing. For me it is the Danny J Johnson's, Sara Schumann's, Macey Leigh's,Jill Crean's, Lisa Zisa's, Eryn Strickland's, Allison Moyer's, Victoria Larvie's, LeslieRae Newton's, etc. of the world who inspire me, so if I am someones inspiration, I am honored. I do not necessarily believe I deserve it, but I accept it. I saw one girl post on Facebook, won't say her name, but she is well known. She actually said "I am such an inspiration". Really? Said who? Yes, you may inspire people, but you do not decide you are an inspiration, other people decide you are one. Inspiration is a privilege not a luxury. You are not entitled to it, you earn it. So if for some reason I inspire you, THANK YOU. I am honored, and flattered, and please know, I will continue to bust my ass trying to be worthy of that.

Last thing here. Diet. I get lots of people asking for help with their diets. Again, very flattering, but I am simply not qualified for that. Danny J does my diet. I do not eat a thing without her permission. It would be irresponsible to take your health into my hands. I will NEVER turn you away. I will give you small tips, I will always be here to help anyone I can. But to go so far in depth as to design your diet is something I am not qualified for. There are great trainers I recommend for that. People like Danny J, Sara Schumann, Jennifer Winright-Main, Eryn Strickland, Allison Moyer, and others. They worked and studied to be qualified to do that. So if I can help, I will, I will not turn anyone away, but there is a limit as to how much I can do before I am doing too much. What I mean by that is, if I do too much, I am taking responsibility for you and your health, and that is not fair to you. There is no one I suggest more than Danny J because she is my trainer along with Sara and JT, but Danny is my diet. Go to www.dannyjfitness.com and find here. Hire her, she will get you to your goals.

In the meantime, if I can do anything or you want any advice that I am qualified for or even just want to share your story, I am an email away at elway78@netzero.com.

To all my supporters, thank you, you make me think I can get on stage. To all my haters, thank you, you GUARANTEE I will get on stage.


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